 Today, I’m another year older, which feels like a fitting time to talk about the intersection of money and age. Sometime or another, we’ve all felt ourselves racing against an invisible clock built on cultural milestones: the house, the car, the wedding, the job, the travel, the retirement. It’s human nature to chase these benchmarks and compare our progress to those around us. We crave certainty, and age offers a convenient marker. When you’re 25, you’re supposed to be building. At 35, stabilizing. At 45, optimizing. By 55, coasting toward independence. And at 65, freedom. Let's be honest about where these expectations came from. Maybe from older generations who equated success with homeownership. Maybe from movies and TV that made it seem like a fairytale wedding was the natural climax of young adulthood. Maybe from social media, where every scroll makes you feel late to a party you didn’t even know you were invited to. Maybe from friends, who were lucky enough to begin their retirements early. But the older I get (and the more people I talk to) the clearer it becomes how misleading the “ideal” timeline really is. These financial ages we chase are mostly arbitrary, and trying to force our lives into them often does more harm than good. The truth is that a prosperous life doesn’t unfold in linear fashion. It’s jagged, uneven, and full of course corrections. People start over. Careers zigzag. Families expand or contract. Markets shift under your feet. As long as your choices move you in the direction of stability, freedom, and meaning, you’re exactly where you need to be. The Timeline That No Longer Exists The financial timeline most of us internalized was designed for an era that no longer exists. If housing were affordable relative to wages, college cheaper, and healthcare predictable, then sure: upward mobility from a young age to a comfortable retirement would be realistic. But that world is gone. Home prices have vastly outpaced wage growth¹. Student debt has exploded². Retirement saving responsibilities have shifted almost entirely from employers to employees³. Many people now need multiple income streams just to maintain what previous generations achieved with one job. Yet somehow, the ‘ideal’ timeline persists. We still measure ourselves against arbitrary milestones created for a completely different set of circumstances. It's like trying to follow a map for a city that's been entirely rebuilt. The Numbers Tell a Different Story Just because it seems like everyone else is on the ideal timeline doesn’t mean it’s true. Here are a few statistics that flip the script: The median age of first-time homebuyers in the U.S. is now about 38 years old (even higher in high-cost states like California and New York)⁴. If you haven't bought a house yet, don’t worry, you're not behind. Only about 54% of U.S. households have any retirement account assets at all (2022 data)⁵. If you haven't saved a bundle yet, you're far from alone. In fact, 1 in 5 Americans over age 50 have no retirement savings whatsoever⁶.  Federal Reserve: Survey of Consumer Finances, 2023 These numbers don't point to widespread failure; they reveal a mismatch between expectations and reality. We often measure our financial lives not by personal progress, but by how well we've lived up to our internal timeline expectations. I've had clients with $2 million portfolios tell me they feel behind because they have a friend retiring early. I've had others, in the initial stages of their careers, convinced they've already missed their shot. It's not the numbers that create anxiety, it's the comparison. We mistake other people's timing for our own, when in reality, most of us are navigating slow and uneven paths through life. The Age Trap Many of us carry this quiet pressure to remain “on schedule.” When we force ourselves to hit arbitrary markers before we're ready, it can lead to some pretty irrational behavior. Psychologists call this temporal discounting: when urgency overrides good judgment⁷. We see it everywhere:
These are emotional decisions, not financial ones. They stem from fear and herd mentality, not the confidence of being ready. The irony is that rushing it (or dragging your feet) often sets you back. That premature house purchase might mean you miss a better career opportunity across the country. An expensive wedding might delay the financial foundation that sustains a marriage. The prestigious-but-miserable job might block you from finding meaningful work. And delaying retirement can quietly spend your most finite resource: time. The Real Curve Isn’t About Age, It’s About Clarity When you zoom out, there's a different kind of financial curve, one that doesn't track net worth, but emotional maturity. In our 20s, money is about identity: we spend to express who we are. In our 30s, it's about stability: building careers, families, and credibility. In our 40s and 50s, it's about control: fine-tuning, planning, optimizing. And eventually, in our 60s and beyond, money becomes about meaning: giving, legacy, and freedom from attachment. Psychologists call this shift socioemotional selectivity: as we age, we trade ambition for clarity⁸. Our financial decisions start to reflect what matters most, not what matters first. It's not that older people stop caring about money. They just tend to care less about keeping score. This progression happens whether you're "on time" or not. The person who buys their first home at 47 goes through the same emotional evolution as the person who buys at 27, they just arrive with different context, different resources, and often, better judgment. What Each Generation Can Teach the Other Each stage of life holds a mindset worth borrowing. If we could blend those perspectives, we might all handle our finances with more balance and less stress. From your 20s, remember curiosity. In your twenties, money is possibility. You’re still defining who you are and what you want, which means you’re willing to take risks, learn, and experiment. That openness is something older investors sometimes lose in favor of safety. The best financial lives blend both: curiosity with caution. From your 30s, take focus. The thirties are about building structure: careers, families (if desired), and habits that compound. From this stage, the rest of us can learn the value of direction: consistency beats intensity, and systems beat motivation. From your 40s, borrow perspective. By this point, most people have lived through at least one financial shock, whether it be a bear market, job loss, or major life change. The forties teach humility and recalibration. They remind us that progress isn’t linear, and that adjusting your plan isn’t failure, but personal growth. From your 50s, learn discernment. The fifties are the age of selectivity. When you start to understand what matters and what doesn’t. Spending becomes more about alignment than accumulation. Younger earners can take note: every “yes” to one thing is a “no” to something else. Intentionality is the quiet superpower of financial maturity. From your 60s and beyond, carry peace. Older adults often describe a calm that comes from no longer chasing. The focus shifts from getting ahead to being okay. That perspective is invaluable at any age. Financial success isn’t about reaching an age; it’s about reaching that sense of peace earlier than most. If we traded notes across generations more often, we might realize we already have what the others are chasing (freedom, purpose, curiosity), just at different points on the curve. Right on Time If there’s a takeaway from this article, it’s this: here’s no perfect age for buying a house, starting a business, or reaching “financial independence.” There’s only the right time for you. If you have thoughts of “I should be further along”, it’s time to swap them out for “I’m exactly where I need to be, as long as I’m moving forward.” Our culture glorifies success according to a specific agenda, but financial and emotional longevity is what truly compounds. The best financial decisions don’t happen on schedule; they happen when your money finally starts reflecting your values. And that can happen at any age. More Reading: The Psychology of Comparison: How Social Media Rewires Our Money Mindset Mental Accounting: Why the Same Dollar Never Feels the Same The Subscription Trap: How Consumer Psychology is Quietly Sabotaging Your Financial Plan ___________________________________________________________________
References ¹National Association of Realtors, Housing Affordability Index Report (2024). Home price growth has outpaced income gains by over 40% since 2000. ²Federal Reserve Bank of New York, Quarterly Report on Household Debt and Credit (Q4 2024). Total student loan balances now exceed $1.6 trillion. ³U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Retirement Benefits Survey (2023). Defined benefit pension participation has fallen from 38% in 1980 to under 15% today. ⁴National Association of Realtors (2024), Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers. Median age of first-time buyers: 38 years (up from 33 in 2021); in California and New York, typical first purchase occurs in early 40s. ⁵Congressional Research Service (2023), Households’ Retirement Account Holdings, 2022 Survey of Consumer Finances. About 54.3% of U.S. households report any retirement account assets. ⁶AARP (2024), One in Five Americans Age 50+ Have No Retirement Savings. ⁷Thaler, R. H. (1981). “Some Empirical Evidence on Dynamic Inconsistency.” Economics Letters, 8(3): 201–207. Temporal discounting refers to prioritizing immediate outcomes over long-term benefits. ⁸Carstensen, L. L. (2006). “The Influence of a Sense of Time on Human Development.” Science, 312(5782), 1913–1915.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAndrew Lancaster, CFP® Categories
All
|
RSS Feed